Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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