evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
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So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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