I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
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i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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