i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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