This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize