I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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