every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize