It's like God shit irony all over that family
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
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