Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You left your phone here
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