I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize