I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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