how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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