Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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