Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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