Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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