My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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