if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
where does the pee come out of this thing
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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