It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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