..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize