when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize