Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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