she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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