dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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