the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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