Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
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just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
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When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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