john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
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Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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