Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I should be sponsored by Trojan
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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