Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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