people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
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Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
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In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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