Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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