Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize