im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
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He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
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How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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