I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize