I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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