Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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