you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
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Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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