If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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