piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize