i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
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he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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