Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize