I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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