I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize