Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize