so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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