Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
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I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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