chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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