Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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