you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize