If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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