did you get engaged???
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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